11月1日吐心声
Moving into one of the classrooms…..
renovations will, supposedly, begin come Monday….
2 months in a small room….all 5 of us…
will we survive? Or will Cabin Fever get to us……
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她…还记得吗？
自从那次十里，圣路加中心的生活营后……我们失去联络了……
1991年的假期道理班学生多得是。那时，那讨厌的早祷，那小树林里的小池塘，那池塘里的鳖，那群争着用望远镜来看鳖的小孩，那大家一起在篮球场上玩躲避球的时光……
就在那个时候，我正追着一位同学跑啊跑。手中握着一粒网球，准备用网球丢向他。瞄准了，一丢。谁知那家伙竞狗运摔了一跤，躲过了球！球竞击中了一位无辜的女生！我呆住了！不知所措的望着大家在检查那小女生…….就是那次，看到了她……她就是那被我球击中的小女生的姐姐！他紧张的安慰着妹妹。瞬间，她望了我这位最终祸首一眼。然我差点儿也哭出来了！那，就是她对我的第一印象……
假期过了，我竟在学校看到她呢！原来她跟我同校！比我大两年啊！还是巡察员！？这下可参咯！记得那时我就读四年级。她念六年级。我就那样的躲着她，过了一年……
之后就没什么缘分了…..顺道一提，她妹和我同级呢……
时光慢慢过了一些…..我初二了….主日学校长，我五姨婆，把我篇入领见证班……一看，咦呃！和她同班也！！！心里只能希望她已经忘了那件事……后来一些事情，我调班了，延迟了领见证。但，我和她的缘分切从这里正式开始……
那年的假期，我忘了什么原因，我参加了假期营的委员会，帮忙搞了。 那时，我和她正是认识了。
自从那次假期营，我一直都有参与教会的生活营，有时是委员，有时只是参与者。但，每次都会遇见她。也许是因为臭味相投，我们成了很要好的朋友。心事，都会互相分享。快乐的，就一起看电影，一起到公园里跑跑。她，第一位陪我看电影的女生。甚至有一次，我们一天看了两场电影。
是她，让我喜欢上听阿牛的歌……她就是我当时的“对面的女孩”……
她，成为了我一生第一位女性知己。
我不成认为，我会爱上她。因为，当时的我，一直认为另一半要比自己小。当时吧……
谁知的…..和她在一起久了，心却不知不觉地掉到她的身上了……
她曾让我担心得吃不下饭，失眠……就是在她考SPM时，因压力而抽了烟……我是骂了她一顿，但我心中是那么的难受的……
她曾经让我有一丝的希望，以为她也喜欢我……
但是，却在一次看电影地前夕，我和她在Star Cineplex的谈心中，让我知道了，原来她找已心有所属了……那天，我心碎了……
记得我那时向呐喊，却欲哭无泪…..
不久后，她到美里升学了。进了师训。她走的那天，我正上课，不能去送她……就这样，我们隔了那么大的一个距离。我时常在想念她….. 有几次，她也打过几通电话给我……听到她的声音，我是那么的满足的。
我，那时还是抱着一丝的希望的……
到了那年，我参加了在圣路加中心举行的假期营。看到她，我好高兴，甚至还打算向她表白的。
谁知道，她却向我介绍一位身材又瘦，长的满帅，戴着眼镜的男人。我的心，又从天上掉了下来……碎了……
记得那次，那位男的是我们的辅导员。记得那时，我是那么的如此的妒嫉。记得那时，我是费了那么大的精神来隐瞒我的敌意与悲伤。记得那时，每看到她们，我的心就被捅了一次……
在那次假期营结束前夕，我终于在祝福她们的心情下，死心了……
那次十里，圣路加中心的生活营后……我们就失去联络了……
每当我想起她时，心还会痛。痛，不是因为旧情未了。痛，在于我们已经失去联络……
黄丽彬，你过得还好吗？幸福吗？
你……还记得玛？
31 October Outta Here~~
It’s the last day of the month….
everyone’s anxious…….
tension rises as all eyes stare at the door….
the clock ticks-on up the wall….
in a split if a second, on couldn’t take it anymore and heads into the room…..
seeing this, everybody follows after her….and we all
got our PAY-CHEQUES~~~
nothing beats the feeling of holding the fruit of a month’s labour in hand.
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Scratch and Sniff??
Though we may lot like to admit it, but we humans have so many bad habbits.
Just to name a few, there are people that bite their fingernails. Some even bite their toenails. Some pick their noses in public. Some Snort. Some rip the skin of their feet and eats them, Etc….
We all know doing all that in public disgusts others so we’ve learnt not to do it in the open. But sometimes it can’t be helped. However, there are also those that couldn’t care less about having others see them acting out their habbits.
Picture this, you’re out to lunch with someone and both of are half-way through you plate of rice or Kang Puah noodles, or whatever……and of a sudden, "KOOOOOOOOOEECK!!!! PUI!", the guy clears his throat and spits a luggy the size of Slimmer (from chostbusters) onto the floor…..there goes the urge to swallow. And the guy continues like nothing had just happened……
It’s Horrible! It’s times like this you just feel like scooping the luggy up, not that i even dare, and shoving it up his rear….
Here’s another example.
Back in high school, we used to have this geography teacher that does something of this sort. He scratches himself. What’s so wrong about satisfying the natural urge to cure an itch? nothing of course…..unless it’s your private part of your body your scratching……..in front of the WHOLE DAMN CLASS!!
it was like….
Teacher: "Right who can tell me the name of the deepest Trench in the world?" (Scratching his buttock…)
Class: "Ummm……..the Marianna Trench…"
Teacher: "Correct! And where is it located?" (Still Scratching his butt…..)
Class: "errrr….." *whole class bursts into laughter…..*
Those who were from the same high school as i was should remember this fellow……
It was after my house subscribed to Astro that i finally found out that he wasn’t the only one doing it. When i first saw this cartoon character on Cartoon Network, i couldn’t help but think how much it reminds me of the geo teacher…..
scratch then sniff, sniff……
Least IR has a bright-red butt……
Something SomethingZ | Comment (0)28 October down the Drain
*TONG* *TONG* *TONG* *TONG*
Ladies and gentlemenS, we are testing the fire alarm system. There is no need for ENVILCUATION. Thank you for your EXTENSION….
errr……..right………
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Originality…..DEAD…….
There was a time not so long ago that you could actually remember all the names of the singers and actors/actresses you see or hear on the radio. Back then, when you go to the cinema, the fare was only around RM3~RM4. And you can be sure those movies will have you at the edge of your seats. Why? Was it Script? Was it the Actors/Actresses? Well, it was both.
Back then, whenever your hear a tune on the radio, you know it’s original. You know the composer poured his heart and soul into it so that us listener will be touched by the the lyrics and moved by the tune.
Sadly, gone were the days when Originality reigned…….
It’s different now…..
These days, you’ll have to pay a freaking RM9 just see a movie. What’s worse? Seeing a movie so bad, you feel like spitting at the poster on your way out. Oh the effects are wonderful these days. So many things you can do with CG (Computer Generated) these days. But what ever happened to originality and imaginative script writing? Many scripts Freaking Sucks. And we more and more REMAKES of movies from the past (War of the Worlds, Amityville Horror, King Kong, Charlie’s Angels, Michael Jack…ops!!! i meant Charlie’s Chocolate Factory………). And how about the remakes from Japanese films (The Ring, The Ring 2, Dark Water…….). What’s up with that? i’m sure the script writers can do better than that! If they only spent more time thinking rather than sleeping around with their Fame and scratching their furry butts.
It’s no wonder the movie industry is dying……..
And as if it wasn’t enough…….
i turned on the radio and if it’s some black-homie-’Dawg’ hip-hopping away about how he just wants to have sex with a gal a little bit, it’s some other black-homie-’Dawg’ rapping about how he Great he is at making women get naked. i don’t have anything against black people, in fact i actually think black people are cool. And the hip-hop’s very nice too. But for goodness sakes, stop playing hip-hop continuously LAH!!!!
So i changed the channel, hoping i could hear something other than black-homies-’Dawgs’ hip-hopping. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the SHOCK, the TORTURE, the HORROR…….i heard………Jolin Tsai……Singing a mandarin version of Jewel’s "They"!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to think the D.J. commented that it was a cute song!? Jolin’s famous for doing this though……remember "Don’t Stop" in her debut album… and her image…… ‘coincidentially’ looks so much like Ayumi Hamasaki! *COUGH!*copycat*COUGH!*
That’s not all….this morning crystalcrismoon just gave one of the most horrifying new of all. It was more frightening than hearing that you have AIDS. More scary than seeing a 90-year-old A Mah naked. More terrifying than seeing Arnold nude…….. it was the news of her hearing the madarin version of Numa Numa Dance on the radio! ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!! KNN!!!!!!!!! CCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Say it ain’t so!!!!!
SAY IT AIN’T SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s really, truely, terribly HORRIJIBLE AH!!!!
ORIGINALITY IS DEAD!!!!!!! IT’S DEAD I TELL YOU!!!!!!!
Something SomethingZ | Comments (2)27 October into the Wall
how do you pronounce "Victory"?
"Weak-tori" (weak bird?? -tori means bird in Japanese…)
how about "Vivi" (FF9 character)?
"WeWe"……(some chinese band…)
then how about "VCD?
"We See Dee……"(Dee…..the shemale from Jangan Ketawa!?)
er…….right……..
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Still here?? Huh??
Ever been in a situation where who just feel like ramming yourself into the wall after you’ve just asked a person an obvious question?
Everyday we meet so many people. And most of the time, we try so hard strike-up a good conversation with them. Why? To get rid of the AWKWARD SILENCE obviously! And how does a conversation usually start when you run into aquaintances? With a questions of course. And everytime, you’ll have to think of the right question to ask. Otherwise, things can begin to get really ugly…….
imagine this…….you run into a guy on you way back to you office after lunch….he’s tie is undone, hair is in a mess and he seems very stressed out……and you walk up to him and ask him,
"Hard day at work?"
Next thing you know, you might be his hostage when he tries to blow up the entire building……
Often, we really try too hard when it comes to thinking up the perfect question to start a conversation…..
another scenario…….a guy was driving home one evening and he sees lady standing by a car parked beside the road with its hood up in the distance. He stops, winds down the window and askes her,
"Car broke down?"
NO! She just loves to stand and stare at broken down cars by the roadside……
how bout this….
You just found out that one of you female friends had just broken up with his boyfriend. She’s crying her eyes out and you ask her,
"Are you OKAY??"
Gee…i don’t know……would you still be okay if your heart just got torn into a million pieces? Go FIGURE!
So many times we just don’t know what to say to a person that we try too hard to come up wit something to say. Often, we just don’t enough time to come up with something that we say the what’s in our minds at the last second….
Here’s the mother of all idiotic questions…..
You see someone you know waiting for her ride in front of your office block and you walk up to her and ask,
"Ride’s still hasn’t arrived?"
No, i just LOVE standing here looking like an idiot…….
Sometimes the best thing to say is "Hi~" or if you’re not much of a talker, a simple smile and nod would do just fine. Rather than asking some stupid, obvious question that makes you want to shove your own foot up your ass later.
Something SomethingZ | Comment (1)26 October IN YOUR FACE
To all you vegetarians out there. If you think that you’re actually going against cruelty and slaughter of animals, you have no idea how wrong you are! Check this out!
who’s the murderer now!?
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the Brains, the Bronze, the iDiot?
You know how high school teachers are, don’t you? They like to talk about their life experience, hoping that it will inspire us. Hoping it will touch us in some ways.
You tend to hear that alot….especially when you’re from more academically challenged class like i was. Being in class like that usually mean that we teachers usually have the tendecy and habbit to try their best to ensure us that we still have a future as bright as those who are in the better classes, despite the fact that most words go in at one ear and out the other…. It’s not like we’ve given up all hope though. It’s just that we’ve heard Enough and Too Much!
Frankly, the darnest things happen in our class. i seriously believe that it’s more fun to be in my class than to be in any of the snobbish classes. i remember this once we got a 2 hour lecture by one of our math teachers couse instead of saying the usual "Good Afternoon Teacher", we stood up and sang the Loverpool theme song (note: his nick was Liverpool).
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anyways, there was, however, one lecture i remember till today. For reasons forgotten, the english teacher started lecturing my class about how we want others to see us. i think someone shouted out,"Handsome" or "pretty" from the back of the class. That got her started on how childish that metality was.
"We, as individuals, shouldn’t just strive on such comments as ‘cool’,'beautiful’,'hunky’, etc… We should aim to be called ‘Smart’! Why? Cause that would mean that we not only have the Looks, but the insides to match the suit as well."
My usual reaction towards those lectures back then was,"BAAAH~~". But i thought what she said was rather enlightening. As teenagers, nothing could bother us more than the curiosity of how people around us see us. Most of the time we would be worried about how certain guy/gal thought of us and how you are seen in his/her eyes. That usually meant "does she/he think that i’m Handsome/Pretty?".
When i heard what she said, i got a smack across the face by reality. The fact that inner beauty was more important than anything else. It was from then that i decided that i couldn’t care less about what others have to judge about me. "Ugly","4-eyes","One-line-eyes" just doesn’t seem to matter so much anymore. And it was then that i decided that if a girl was going to like me, she’ll have to like me for who i am, and not for who i seem to be. i wanted to be ‘Smart’! The Hell with being ‘handsome’,'hunky’ or ‘cool’!
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So much is being built on how something/someone looks these days. You actually see more and more divoced couples these days. i bet the way people tend too choose their partners played a huge part in this. So many standards are being set around us based solely on how a person looks these days. Cleavage, smooth skin, long straight hair, sexy lips and they earn the title of being Goddesses. Six-pack, think eye-brow, tight butt, huge muscles, million dollar smile and they get the name of Man-of-your-dreams. Makes us wonder how shallow the human race has become.
bUt then again,
it’s never wrong, nor is it a crime to admire the aesthetic design of the human race….
JUST STOP SENDING OUT THE MESSAGE THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ONLY WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE THIS
Something SomethingZ | Comment (0)24October2005 hateS moNdayz!
It’s always a drag trying to get into the ‘Mood’ of working on Mondays…
Especially when you’ve enjoyed you Weekend, sleeping, eating and sleeping summore…..
Ack….i HATE MONDAYS!!!!
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Ways to know if you’re a FFF
FFF? Final Fantasy Freak! Well, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d know what Final Fatasy is. Yes, the coolest RPG most gamers will agree. It’s been about for quite sometime now. Since the 8-bit days when all the game sprites looked like this…
Final Fantasy 1 in 8-bit…..
nowadays, it’s…
a character from the up coming FFxii
This game hast worked it way into the hearts of many gamers all over the world. People cosplay as as the its characters…..
OMG……..errr……yuffie…did you swallow all you materias…..
Oh gosh……it’s a MAN!!!
right…..wait a moment while i go throw-up…..*rushes off*
Right! So how do you know if you’ve been playing too much Final Fantasy?
Here’s my list of the symptons….
1. you hum its tune while walking down the street…
2. you’ve played all the games, FF1~ffx-2
3. you’re paying to play FFxi
4. you’re so excited about FFxii that you’re checking for updates of it every 5 minutes
5. you spend you weekend playing FF7 after watching FF7 Advent Children…
6. when you see "QAC…" on someone’s carplate you think to youself, "Advent Children"
7. you know all the names of the charaters in all the series.
8. you talk to friends for hours on the phone trying to get him to tell you how to beat Ruby Weapon…
9. you nailed a few wooden planks together and call it a Gunblade……
10. your online game character’s name is Cloud…..or any other name from FF…..
There’s more~
but if you’ve achieved about 50% of the above….CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE A FFF!!!
Something SomethingZ | Comment (0)
10月21日说话了。。。
音乐，
那是什么？
是一种声音； 是一种享受； 是一种发泄； 是一个呐喊； 是一个告白； 是一次分享；
是一个心声； 是一句问候； 是一句责骂； 是一个誓言； 是一句安慰；
是一个咒语。。。。
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自己的咒语。。。自己的歌。。。
都懂吧，我们的生活中，一定听过一首让我们感动， 让我们感到它，就是在叙述我们的处境，我们的经验的歌吧。 可以是快乐得。 可能是悲伤的。 又可以是愤怒的。
歌，到底是什么？
常常我们欣赏一首歌时，都会听好几次吧。 听了又听，都从’听’，进到’感受’它了……心情跟着它的起伏….被它影响了…..
歌，是一个咒语。 它会影响我们的思路。 它会指使我们的感受。 它会控制我们的行动的。
也许我们都曾经，不知不觉种了这咒语…..受到它的控制，做了一些令我们后悔的事…..
歌，是一个咒语。 它能让我们，进入忘我， 让我们做到一些我们平时都做不到的事……
西方人喜欢也习惯在他们做爱时，播音乐。 音乐，会帮助他们进入状况，而让他们又进一步的享受……
歌，是一个咒语。 它会让人走向绝路……
歌，是一个咒语。 它能医治一刻被敲碎心。
它不知已经把几个在绝望与黑暗中徘徊的灵魂，救回到光明中……
自己写的歌，就是自己的咒语。
它是自己的治疗……
它是自己向别人的影响……
你曾被歌控制、影响过吗？
我曾在《没关系》下跟人分手……
曾在《解脱》下从新找回把心交出的勇气……
20 October 2005
eh…Go Buy 4D liaw!
If there’s one phase i can use to decribe my mornings these days, it’ll have to be Traffic Jam. Every morning i leave the house the at 7:05. After taking crystalcricmoon to her office, i find myself caught in a jam for a almost an hour! It sucks! Because you know there’s nothing you can do about it.
It’s always boring when you’re caught in the jam. It’s worse when the radio plays stupid ’songs’ of idiots hip-hopping about sex, violence, sex, sex and more sex! Makes me wonder if these guys really human at all. It’s no wonder they call each other Dogs, like "yo Dog! Where de party at?"……
All that staring at the car asses, had me developed a habbit of reading car plate numbers and trying to find a meaning of it.
Here’s a few i find very amusing ( be warned that you need to know mandarin to understand most of them) :-
- 8798 -> Dad went to the bar (爸去酒吧)
- 1399 -> now and forever (一生久久)
- 1337 -> gave birth to 7 in a roll (一生生七，guess he really love children)
- 2414 -> starve for life (饿死一生)
- 3658 -> just kill me (杀了我吧！)
- 7456 -> i’m so pissed!! (气死我啦！！)
Some i find rather intimidating: -
- 781 -> read it in mandarin really fast and you’ll get it
- 748 -> go to hell (去死吧！)
- 81 -> errr….read in mandarin, one as “yao1”. meaning’s in Eglish….
- 8288 -> Pa ni Pa Pa……errr……hmmm……
- 1742 -> it’s a warning…..we’ll died together if you run into me (一起死哦！！！)
- 4444 -> die diE dIE DIE!!!(死死死死！！)
- 514 -> maybe he’s depressed? (我要死。。。)
And last but not the least, this is my personally favorite: -
3278 -> it’s in foochow!!!
what if this car was from Miri and had ‘ME’ in front….."ME 3278Q" XD
Something SomethingZ | Comments (2)19 October 2005
Maybe it’s the sad songs i’ve been listening to…
Maybe it’s those songs were the songs i listened to long ago…
Maybe it’s the book that i’ve been reading…
Maybe it’s the things that’s been happening around me lately…
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We were close….so close…
It’s seems so long ago now. Maybe it because i’ve locked myself out of this part of the my life so long. I used to think, if i had the choice, i’d want to look it away for good. Erase it from my past even…… But i never could.
i was young back then. very imature, impatient, unwise. It was the worst time to get into a relationship. But it happened. Against all odds.
She had just been through a harsh break-up. Apperently, the guy dumped her for someone else. She didn’t understand why. She thought they were so right for each other. Everything seemed okay, until he suddenly decided they weren’t right for each other. So he left her. She was devastated.
i’ve forgotten when and how it began, but another friend and i started meeting up with her in the mornings. Was it to have a simple chat with her? Was it to comfort her? Or was it just out of curiosity? All i remember is she was talking about him….. and tried our best to tell her that it wasn’t worth it for her to waste her tears over it. This actually went on for quite a while.
Soon afterwards she and i started calling each other up at night. We would talk for long hours about anything and everything. i would tell her about the girl i like and and she would give me little information about the girl. We shared many secrets. Over time, i noticed that her tone of speaking has changed……it was about the same time i found out that my close friend, who was like a brother to me, had feelings for her. This was the same guy who had been meeting up with her in the mornings at school. i wanted to back out. But i guess i was in too deep……
We started writing small notes to each other during classes. We weren’t in the same class. i used to purposely leave out a few text books when i packed my bags back then. i would go to her class and borrow the text book from her and, at the same time, get a note from her in it. Then i would spend the lesson writing a reply and hand it to her in her text book.
Before we knew it, we were together. i know i’ve hurt my friend, i never meant to… The scene of his back, while he was running across the street after he got off the car that Merdeka night had been burnt into my mind. He hated me…..i’ve wronged my brother……
Things didn’t go on for long……we were young…….i was imature…..i didn’t trust her…..we were over. Then she got together with another of my close friends….i guess i got jealous……to me it had only been a short time after the break-up……We were never as close since then……
I’ve been ask by so many people for the reason of the break-up……all i told them, was that we were too different……but the main cause, i now remember, is the because i felt she was keeping many things from me….and i Know i told her everything, i never spat anything that happened between us to another soul back then…..that was the reason…..
I guess you could say that this is a long confession to those who had been puzzled by this for so long. If you are a girl with Sim as a surname who hate(d)(s) me for it, i apologize. i’m not afraid about crystalcrismoon reading this, she knows what happened…to the details…..
i don’t know if you could see this….but i’m sorry 渊哥…. i never meant for you to get hurt back then…
Ack! That's Life! | Comments (2)
10月17日之语
叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树得不挽留。。。
最近刚买了本书，据说是某校的华文学会出版的。 我一向来都对这种作品很感兴趣，所以发现这本书时，立刻就买下来了。。。
书到手时，我习惯性的翻着，翻着。 过目着里面的散文。就发现了一片满特别的文章。
题目是《树，叶子，风》。 分成3部分， 即：树，叶子与风。 被吸引了，当然就读了。
原来它是讲述一段中学爱情故事的3个角度。 是由那三角关系里的主角写的。 故事中，树代表一位男生，叶子是喜欢树的女生。 树也喜欢叶子，只是，他一直都不肯和叶子在一起。 树甚至因为女友和叶子去冲突而骂了叶子。 但，叶子却依然很爱树。。。
后来，风出现了。 他被叶子吸引了。 于是决定追叶子。 虽然面临了无数的拒绝，风还是不肯放弃。 直到最后，风中于感动了叶子。 不再把世界只献给树。。。
这故事让我有所感触。 现实生活中，这种事情实在是太多了。 也许，自己都有遇过吧。。。
人生就像一场捉迷藏。 追追躲躲的。 喜欢一个人，可能不敢说出口，又在他身旁摸摸支持她。 错过了，万一错过了？又怎么办？
其实，我们每个人都是一棵树，一片叶子，一阵风。 也许，我们曾经如树般无动于衷，错过了我们的叶子。说不定将来我们却可以成为把另一片叶子吹到幸福中的暖风。 又或许，我们又会遇到让我们感到幸福的阵风。
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